Watch your tongue, young lady !!

I had an irresistible urge to quote from the master, to delight you with my alter ego weilding an ax … and  lament the passage of time a bit differently this week.

Sometimes I wonder
whether the world
is being run
by smart people
who are putting us on
or by imbeciles
who really mean it.

Mark Twain

girlie

*Sorry. Lost this link. If you know the artist, write in comments.

There is that four letter word we dare not utter in mixed company,

Mutter to yourself. Use self-control when faced with traffic jams … long lines in supermarkets

Hiss at doors slamming in your face. Do not lose control or fall victim to the poverty of language.

Be an adult and use restraint while holding the phone. Block out the canned music. Relax as you get transferred for the third time. Wait fifteen minutes. Pity the person on the other end who can’t get past pronouncing your name.

No politically incorrect adjectives for the cute customer service rep speaking to you from beautiful downtown Mumbai.

Remember … there are worst things in the world. The four letter word pales by comparison. Like …

Old?

Drat to that three letter word. Banish it from your vocabulary

Who’s old?

“Watch your tongue, young lady!”

Ah, the injustice of time to find me … a post menopausal, fired up old teenager … with nothing more than fond memories of what it was like to be …

Young?

She smiles at me from an old photo album.  I see her each morning looking back at me and bark, “Who the hell are you and what are you doing in my bathroom mirror?”

She snaps, “Get over it !”

I am mad you know? Mad as a hatter … or a dog … or a woman gone past 30 something. Past “middle age.”

Damn … gone past menopause.

Tell me please. Misery needs company.

What do you see in your bathroom mirror?

Is this the image you remember,
or an alien force that has taken possession
of your once youthful persona?

fOIS In The City

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31 Comments

Filed under Ramblings

31 responses to “Watch your tongue, young lady !!

  1. I’m right there with you. I wish my body felt as youthful as my mind. Maybe that is why I write YA.

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  2. I so love that Twain quote! Oh Florence, my body is falling apart, and I’m starting to see my father’s basset hound droops in the mirror.

    I try to remind myself that if I can get out of bed and see that in the mirror every day, it’s a good day!

    I’m convinced our eyes go as we get older so we don’t have to look at the close detail in the mirror – God IS kind.

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    • Isn’t it the truth, Laura. That old friend I talked about last week used to tell me … the first thing to go are the eyes. I do believe that is God’s way of protecting us from seeing our droops and dips as they begin to appear. Hope you are on the mend … at least your feet will be young again 🙂

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  3. Regrettably, I see my older brother in the mirror when I wake up. His puffy cheeks, his swollen nose, sunken brown eyes…it takes hours for him to go away. But in my heart, in my brain, I’m about 21 and in my absolute prime. I have to get a new mirror.

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  4. Who do I see in mirror? Someone a lot older than how I feel.

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  5. christicorbett

    I’m starting to get a little startled at what I see in the mirror. And sadly paying a bit more attention to all those magical lotions and potions available for saggy skin.

    And my hair is getting far too much wisdom in it lately (when my twins were born I had seven gray hairs. Now? There’s lots more 🙂 )

    Love the picture!

    Christi Corbett

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    • Christi, the gray hairs multiply as the kids get older. Once they are teens you should be wishing you had stock in Revlon … or as I told them … every gray hair on my head came from one of you !!

      That alter ego is the me I think of as taking an ax to the dastardly word “old.”

      Fear not, the benefits are also tremendous 🙂

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  6. I look in the mirror and wonder, “where the hell did she go?” I’m perennially forty years old, I think. For some reason that seems about right. My sister-in-law asked me at my last birthday what age I wanted to be and I chose that one. So there!!!!
    Patti

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    • Well Patti, they do say that life begins at 40 … so you can do a Groundhog Day routine and keep repeating the same birthday. I think Jack Benny was 39 into his 80’s. If I had to choose a good mid-life age I would pick that one too 🙂

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  7. LOL. I so totally relate. Who is that old woman who shows up in my mirror every morning? Right now I’m being dragged kicking and screaming into doing a series of webinars. “Why put my wrinkly, saggy old face on camera?” I kept saying. “Can’t we just do audio?” Nope. Gotta get that old woman out of my mirror and onto the screen.

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    • Anne, I feel your pain … I have’t even gotten the courage to change the avatar. That sparky young thing is 40 and I wanted to hold on to the fantasy of her for as long as I could. Later this year I might do a reveal and give the world the “me” who is now.

      Good luck with the webinars … and let me know how I can see them. I’d love to hear your voice and I promise I won’t notice any signs of … aging? No … we’ll just say we are vintage women and the longer we ripen, the sweeter the taste 🙂

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  8. vicki batman

    Oh yikes! I’m with Patti–I liked 40. I could use some laser work on the face. That helps.

    The other day I spoke with an older neighbor. She had her hair styled nicely, a tad of makeup, but what truly spoke about how beautiful she is was how her personality sparkled.

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    • I know what you mean, Vicki. A member of my local writer’s group is 93 this month. I just can’t see it. All I see is the sparkle of her amazing blue eyes.

      I think youth lives inside even after the outside starts to fall apart and that’s the view we get in people’s eyes. Then again, a magic lamp with a wish or two to be 40 again ain’t so bad either 🙂

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  9. LOL…”post-menopausal teenager.” I can so relate, Florence.

    I’ve held up pretty well (those Italian genes) except for that “change of life” extra weight. I need to lose it for health reasons, but to quote Catherine Deneuve, “After a certain age, a woman has to choose between her fanny and her face.” I’m pretty sure the fat is the only thing propping up my face right now 🙂

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    • Good grief, Debra. I lost my post menopausal rump and rounded cheeks and now I have sags and bags I could use to carry a week’s worth of groceries 🙂

      I guess for us “late blooming” baby boomers (and being Italian is certainly an advantage) … the spark never dies !!

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  10. I’m still giggling over this: “Who the hell are you and what are you doing in my bathroom mirror?”

    I don’t think about age a whole lot. I think it’s partly due to working in a senior’s facility when I was 17 (I loved those old people!) and partly due to watching all of the fun my aging relatives had over the years. Old age didn’t slow any of them down, so I mimic them and still try to do everything I did when I was 30. And as far as looking in the mirror and judging the face that looks back at me … I can’t. I’ve earned every gray hair, every wrinkle, and smile line. I have faith that genetics will keep me mentally and emotionally young until I reach 80, and the rest doesn’t matter.

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    • I have no doubt, Sheila … no doubt that you are young at heart and full of zest. You have that kind of smile and with that and your great attitude, you will never get “old.” Thanks, I kind of like that old girl who sticks her tongue at me every moring 🙂

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  11. Interesting timing, Florence. I’ve been reliving my pre-adolescent years by watching Bionic Woman on DVD. Well into disc 2, I can’t get over her face, her expressions, her mannerisms. I can’t seem to reach what I do remember, only know that there is a disconnect from the face on the screen and the memory in my mind. Funny, her voice sounds the same, and of course, her face is the same, forever sealed in celluloid… or something. It is I who has changed, and so I wonder, what happened to this girl who remembers someone else?

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    • Sherry, it’s that age old argument … memory vs. pride. Pride usually wins. I refuse to give up those images. One of the reasons I don’t watch too much of the retro and goodness help us … I can’t watch the old rockers, aging, sixty-something in sating. It smacks of poor Elvis.

      I got into her too. That wavy music and the slow-mo as she began to pick up speed … forever chasing the bad guys 🙂 Yes, you have changed but she will always been there when you need a shot of nostaglia !!

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  12. Florence,

    Easy question to answer. I see a seasoned wise woman. And proud of it. No other option, really, since I’ve way too much to accomplish in my life.

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  13. Oh, the aliens have been trying to invade ever since I turned 30 *puts on foil hat just in case*

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    • Jamie, you are too young to see anything but that incredibly bright smile 🙂 Enjoy the next 20 or so years and don’t worry about alienc … all you have to do is make sure they show up first thing in the morning at my house and I’ll scare the buggers back into space 🙂

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  14. I have to say I avoid looking in mirrors! Once in the morning when I’m getting ready, then again in the evening when I’m taking off my makeup. The only other time will be if someone tells me I’ve got my dinner on my chin! Lol

    Great post Florence 🙂

    Xx

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    • Yes Vikki, I know the drill. We want small square little mirrors, or stand far enough back not to catch every single change 🙂 Hey, to you remember when it was important to say the half of the year … “I’m not eight, Mom. I’m eight and a half.” Now I don’t own up to the next year until midnight on my birthday 🙂

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  15. Hi Florence, I think middle age is now sixty, since we are supposed to be living longer. Right? Somewhere around thirty you realize that you feel the same as you did ten years earlier and it occurs to you that at ninety you will still feel like that same twenty-something tearing it up on the dance floor. 🙂

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