Outtakes … Want a date?

good housekeeping

Wikipedia.org graphic. 

Clean house?

I don’t know about you, but housekeeping is number 99 on my list of must-things-to-do. Reprogramming the remote control comes before washing floors. Certainly, any other mundane task gets my vote before cleaning the oven.

Recently, I gave my PC a thorough cleaning. I did a defrag, emptied the trash bin, and checked all the programs for errant files I might have downloaded in error.

I also began to organize and rewrite all the pages above the Brooklyn Bridge. They are about me and the features on my blog. Lastly, I began cleaning my blog house.

I had no idea that I had neglected to put “categories” on 112 posts. I also discovered  a trend in my posts. I seem to use one theme more than any other … like last week’s post … Change.

And … Bleeps, Bloopers and Outtakes … are really me changing my mind. 

Me…  revising, editing, rewriting, and vanquishing whole or pieces of stories to my personal slush pile.

I truly need to do something with poor, hapless Gail. I don’t want her to go through life thinking she has no place in women’s fiction because she is clueless about her journey.

Actually … I think I’m clueless about my journey.

Whatever … While I finish reading our May Book Club selection and do the rest of my housekeeping, please enjoy an outtake from Gail’s story.

reagan_bonzo


Aside from my obvious failings, this book title might be a tad long.

Does Anyone Out There Miss Ronald Reagan?

Or … How I Survived The 80’s, YUPPIES and Six Blind Dates

Outtake:

There are several ways a girl can meet the man of her dreams. She might dabble, post Katherine Gibbs, as an Executive Assistant, have an affair with her boss and force him to divorce his domineering wife. She might become a nurse and diddle with a couple of interns.  

One might go the anonymous route and check out the pages of the Village Voice or The New Yorker personals, though I can never get the initials straight in my head and worry, I’ll walk into a bar and meet a cross-gender party girl.  

If desperate, she can always run him over with her car. This might not be practical for me, as I don’t know how to drive.  

Co-workers are forever mentioning this wonderful nephew, cousin or friend of the family who just came back on the market after that bitch of a wife took his entire life savings. This one I can’t wait to meet. Maybe in a dark alley as he slices the blade across my neck yelling, “I’ll see you in hell, you money-grubbing harlot.”  

Of course, there’s always your sister, mother and other concerned relatives in the family. 

Usually, it’s the latter. Blind dates are arranged by people you know, who know people, who need to meet a nice girl. “He’s what a catch. Just hasn’t found the right gurl.” Most of my relatives pronounce girl as “gurl.”  

Wearing coke bottle glasses and being called “blind as a bat” most of my life, I have difficulty with the expression “blind date.” Does this mean my date will also have coke bottle glasses?   

Back in the day when he believed in organized labor, Ronald Reagan was a Democrat. Then he switched parties and ran for governor of California and lost, ran again and won two terms. Never letting any sage brush grow between his toes, Ronnie ran for president three times before winning two terms. 

I’d rather think of a blind date as a candidate on the stump, a dedicated, stubborn man who won’t take no for an answer.

Have you ever been on a blind date?

Would you arrange a blind date for your best friend?

fOIS In The City

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26 Comments

Filed under Bleeps, Blooper and Outtakes

26 responses to “Outtakes … Want a date?

  1. Florence – Remember, the moment she saw his military bearing and salt and pepper hair she thought this might be the right one. He was a blind date and they are still married.

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  2. Hunh! I have never been set up for a blind date.

    This has me wondering if friends and family think I’m too whacky independent for the men they knew.

    Alternatively, it could be because back-in-the-day I filled weekend nights hanging out at CW Dance Clubs or bars where singles went, and entertained everyone myself tying knots in cherry stems with my tongue. Combine that with The Bar Flirt (catch his eye, slight smile, look away, and lick your bottom lip), and the dudes rushed past me on their way to the exit to my side.

    My imaginary world had better post-bar and CW dance experiences than I had. *heavy sigh*

    Still, it was fun.

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    • Heck, Gloria … all my female characters have more fun than I did. That’s the reason some of us insecure, unfinished masters of the universe, and all around award winning women of the year … write.

      I’d love to have known that trick with the cherry stem 🙂

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  3. Oh I so miss Ronnie. I went to his library and resting place a couple of months ago…those were the days.

    Go clean something, Florence! Hey, I actually did my oven last weekend! YUK!

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    • Laura, now every time I make a Ronnie joke I’ll think of you. Yeah, yeah … scrubbed the John early am … I do at least one or two things everyday so I never have to face the WHOLE thing 🙂 Doesn’t mean I have to like it 🙂

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  4. I’m not very politically oriented so I can’t say anything about good ole Ronnie. However I do so love your story about blind dates. Never been on one, so no tale from me.

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    • Patti, I don’t think blind dates are one of those things we should all “try.” Anyway … in the Bleep series, I’ll finally get to poor Gail’s six blind dates. And this takes place in the 80’s … the Ronnie years … and I can’t help myself 🙂

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  5. christicorbett

    I went on a blind date once. He was late, then showed up as I was gathering my things and preparing to leave in a huff. He convinced me otherwise with his charming smile and sexy demeanor. We ended up dating for nearly two years and then parted on good terms.

    I hate cleaning too! *eyes laundry making an escape over the rim of the hamper*

    Christi Corbett

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    • Good for you , Christi. You probably just told me the best blind date story. Usually they are really bad. You’ll see what I do to poor Gail soon 🙂 I guess with twins you can’t really let the laundry PILE up !!

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  6. Vicki Batman

    Yes, I went on a blind date, but it is so far repressed, I can’t even recall much. Thankfully. And no, I won’t arrange one for anyone.

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  7. I worked in aerospace during the Ronnie years — it was a bastion of sexism and harassment. I couldn’t even imagine wanting to marry any of the old pervs who’d corner me in the copyroom. Seriously, we owe so much to Anita Hill. She changed everything. I was a career woman, so I didn’t get married until age 46, just when all the relatives had given up. I love your stories of the ’80s, Florence! I can so relate.

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    • Debra, I think even though I am a boomer, I identify more with the 80’s than I did the 60’s. There was something sobering about raising kids through all of that. Good for you. You had your fun and you got to enjoy it too 🙂

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  8. I’ve never been on one, probably since I married at 18! I don’t think I’d ever want to go on one either, but I’d love to set one up if I had some willing parties 🙂

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  9. I’ve been on a couple of blind dates, Florence. The last one was with my husband (who wasn’t yet my husband). Except I was the one who initiated the blind date by twisting my girlfriend’s arm so she would arrange it. So on my part, I guess it really wasn’t a blind date, was it? 🙂

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  10. A resounding ‘no’ to both questions. I was never very confident around strangers so the idea of dating someone I’d never met would leave me nervous and tongue-tied. I met my future husband in a youth group, (introduced by my then boyfriend, much to his later regret), so I knew him well before he asked me out. Definitely easier than making small talk with a stranger.

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  11. Florence,

    I bet you figured I forgot you or have given up on following blogs. While that might be true in some cases, it’s certainly not true for your blog. But this has been a crazy, busy, and exasperating week. Nuf said.

    No, I’ve never been on a blind date–overly protected female before first marriage and way too busy being a single parent after my divorce.

    Actually, I did arrange a blind date for my oldest friend and the widower spouse of another friend. The two had never met. They met with me at the assigned place. We had a drink together the three of us, and then my friend told me to “get lost.” I wasn’t surprised. He called me the next day to thank me. They married a year later and have been married now 30 happy years.

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  12. I’ve never been on a blind date.

    I recently read a terrific book that begins with a blind date scene. There’s a case of mistaken identity and she sits down at the wrong restaurant table. It was a great first chapter!

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    • Brinda, that sounds like a great beginning for sure. Let me know the title of the book if you please. I’ve been on one strange blind date and as a result I would never arrange one for anyone … even someone I don’t like 🙂

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  13. Dont get me started on housework. My hubby’s been giving me the stink eye cuz I’m so wrapped up in my story right now.
    I don’t think I’ve ever been on a blind date. i don’t really remember. Never been against it, as long as I could get a picture first. 🙂

    Hope you’re doing well Florence!

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