I can’t think of anything …

The second item on my “to-do” list this week and my very best intention … was to write a post about main characters who are too nice.

What goes through my wooden-head on any given evening, when  a deadline is dangerously close? Should I panic because I have nothing written for my weekly post?

I started looking through my documents. For your enjoyment I give you random thoughts.

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I was seven and the big guy told me, “You’re a real doll.”  I started to smile, and then he added, “Wooden head and all.”

The middle one once took one of my dolls, removed her head and used it for soccer practice.

random thoughts

Graphic Credit

Brina Dana Esmerian

I stopped at the next traffic light and pondered my options. With the better part of the day at my disposal, I could walk cross-town to Bloomingdales, cut over to Saks or take the Fifth Avenue bus to Lord & Taylor.  

In another hour, hordes of lunch hour shoppers would desert stores and restaurants to return to their work stations. Swarms of housewives would wrap up their morning in the city with a quick lunch and head to Grand Central Station to take the 3:15 back to the burbs.  

And with dozens of cosmetic ladies busy restocking powder foundations, tawny blusher and under eye concealers, I would be free to roam the aisles and troll for nifty bargains. 

Or, I could descend into the bowels of the city and take the subway home.

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Odd thoughts drop on my tongue like gum balls … like doll heads rolling across the floor.

wooden head
Wooden Heads at Etsy.com

Sydney Elizabeth Douglas

Each Sunday I attended the nine o’clock mass at St. Agatha’s with my parents. After mass we would take the Eight Avenue bus and transfer on Fifth Avenue. The bus dropped us off across from where I stood today.  

I’d fuss over whatever little girls fuss over while my dad got on a long winding line from around the corner to the front door of Ebinger’s, the most famous bakery in Brooklyn. 

A man of habit, my dad would buy one Black Out cake and one crumb cake. The former was the cake that had made the establishment famous. In the rain heads topped with multi-colored umbrellas lined the streets, but no one gave up the chase until they walked out the door with several of the instantly recognizable boxes, a pale green with brown crosshatching.

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Remember, don’t hit old ladies with your shopping cart. They might sue you.

old ladies

Old Ladies Credit

Camila Luciana Lopez

The clock struck twelve, my ball gown disintegrated and the coach driven by two white mice, vanished, leaving me cold and naked.  

It was high noon and the bank manager of the Wall Street branch of my bank smiled that smile that said … girlfriend you are so screwed. 

I sucked in the panic in my voice and asked one more time, “Are you absolutely sure?” 

“Yes, Mrs. Bainbridge. Sorry to say I am one hundred percent sure.” 

“But how? I mean when?” 

“You had two joint accounts with your husband. One of them is closed. The other one has a balance of $69.69.” She grinned and asked. “Would you like to make a withdrawal?”

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He’d warn me, “Don’t take any plug nickels.”

I didn’t know what a plug nickel was, but whenever the grocer gave me change, I was on the lookout.

marry me

Marry Me

Gail Green

Romance novels have little or no appeal to men, although the men depicted within their steamy pages are the finest specimens on the planet. These are the men we fantasize we will meet one day while strolling down the avenue, browsing in our local card shop or at our corner grocery store. He’ll be there to sweep us off our feet when we least expect him.  

Of course, I know there is no way I can find the prodigal son of an oil tycoon sauntering down the aisles in my local grocery store. The guy in my local grocery store, otherwise known as a “bodega” is a dark, slender Latino who loves to flirt. His wife, who is short, dark, and as wide as a defensive tackle for the New York Giants, works the counter across the room and nothing escapes her sharp, raptor eyes, least of all the chubby gringa.

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Okay … now it’s your turn. Leave one funny thought and you will automatically be entered to win my first ever FUNNY IS FUN Contest. The winner will receive a free one year subscription to my blog.

What? You think I have money to burn on Starbucks?

Tell me if you will. 

What random thoughts bang around inside your brain? 

Anything G-Rated you can share?

fOIS In The City

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21 Comments

Filed under Random Thoughts

21 responses to “I can’t think of anything …

  1. A good friend is:

    Someone who thinks you’re a good egg even if they know you’re slightly cracked.

    You’re a good egg, Florence.

    Like

  2. I have no random thoughts. Well, I DO, but they’re not worth sharing and are usually just worries that hound me throughout the day and sometimes the night – life, death, love, caring, worry, fun, laughs, cries.

    Like

  3. Vicki Batman

    Right now, my random thought is I’ve got to get this done. Not random at all. AND I already have a free subscription to your blog. lol

    Like

  4. christicorbett

    Florence,

    Hmmmmm, a funny thought.

    *roots around the brain for a while, comes up empty. Sips coffee for inspiration, still nothing. Recalls joke daughter told while trying to avoid bedtime last night.*

    Girl Twin: Knock Knock
    Me: Who’s there?
    Girl Twin: Dewey
    Me: Dewey Who?
    Girl Twin: Dewey really have to go to bed right now?

    Like

    • Ah, Christi … they are in the “knock, knock” joke stage, are they? There’s something comforting in those jokes … like the connect us to other times and people … like continuity … knock yourself out and have fun with the kids 🙂

      Like

  5. All that fodder on which to comment, and I’m stuck wondering, what would good old creature-of-habit dad have done if one day Ebinger’s was sold out of Black Out cakes?

    Could be a doozy of a plot, right there.

    Like

    • Sherry, that usually caused a rebellion. If Black Out cakes were getting low, they’d send word down the line. It was an amazing thing. My father-in- law got on the line when the bakery opened at 5am 🙂

      Like

  6. Random thoughts? Oh no! Not another rain storm! Shut down the computer fast. Really…

    Not funny but true. I loved reading this–just what I needed.

    Like

  7. My random thought of the day … why do the ducks and herons fly away as soon as we step onto our deck? Are they out there whispering amongst each other, discussing those “dangerous” people who live in the house out yonder? 🙂

    Like

  8. Florence – I love reading your blog and would do so even if I had to pay. I haven’t a funny thought in my brain as I hear Tom cry out in his sleep, he’s in so much pain. I’ve been way out in left field for almost 2 weeks. Hope things turn quickly. This is a great blog. You always bring a smile to my heart.

    Like

  9. Random thought posts are often the best and most interesting 😉

    Xx

    Like

  10. Hi Florence! Great to see you! Love that romance pic. And if more guys did read romance novels they’d be doing way better with the ladies. They’d know what we like and how we like it. 😉

    Random thought: Sometimes you have to crawl thru sh** to find your paradise.

    Like

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